Now we’ve acquired Wall Market out of our system in Final Fantasy 7 Remake, we’re eager about what’s subsequent. The iconic JRPG is memorable due to its story and unbelievable solid of misfits, however there’s one other factor everybody remembers: it’s weird.
While plenty of scenes labored with the polygonal nightmare graphics of the unique PlayStation game, I can’t assist however marvel how nicely they’ll translate to characters who look human, who’re absolutely voiced, who’ve fingers as a substitute of stumps on the finish of their tiny arms.
So listed here are some batshit issues we are able to’t wait to see in Final Fantasy 7 Remake 2? 3? Final Fantasy 7 Remakes? Anyway, on we go.
Red XIII in a soldier uniform
Red XIII is a canine with a fiery tail. You save him from a lifetime of being experimented on in direction of the tip of the Midgar part, which Final Fantasy 7 Remake covers. He’s sassy. He’s moody. He talks. He’s a canine. He’s a speaking lab rat/canine.
Since he’s a canine, which means he walks on all fours. He additionally has fur, an elongated nostril, and really dog-like options – contemplating, you already know, he’s a canine. That flame on the finish of his tail isn’t too refined both.
At one level, you and the crew sneak aboard a cargo ship to sail throughout the ocean. You all get onboard disguised as Shinra troopers. Yes, even Red XIII. He walks on his hind legs and dances round like a person who has shit his pants. It’s daft. It’s nice. I don’t know if it would work with fashionable graphics and I can’t wait to seek out out.
Palmer will get hit by a truck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO27jkn5tjY
Palmer heads up Shinra’s failed area programme in Final Fantasy 7, and he makes a few small appearances within the remake as nicely. You can first spy him within the Honeybee Inn should you peek via the keyholes to the rooms earlier than the present.
He actually likes cups of tea with lard in them, for some purpose. And at one level, you’re taking him on in a weirdly powerful boss battle. Once the battle is over, an aeroplane virtually decapitates him, however he crouches underneath the propellor. Then he sticks his tongue out and runs away, at which level he’s summarily hit by one in every of his firm’s vehicles.
This occurs in the course of the struggle, somewhat than exiting the battle for a correct cutscene. I can solely guess it gained’t be the identical within the subsequent remake. This is as a result of the remake’s fights play out in real-time, so the truck must simply careen via the battlefield and doubtlessly take you out as nicely, which isn’t as humorous as seeing Palmer’s lard-loving ass handed to him by a lorry.
Cloud will get yeeted by a dolphin
There’s a scene within the authentic Final Fantasy 7 the place Cloud has to get to the highest of a tower. To achieve this he will get yeeted by a dolphin referred to as Mr. Dolphin. I don’t actually know what else to say, to be sincere. We deserve it in 4K.
Tifa slaps the shit out of Scarlett
There’s a scene halfway via Final Fantasy 7 the place celebration member Tifa has a struggle with Shinra’s Scarlett. The two face off in one of the vital dramatic backdrops, standing on prime of the large Junon cannon with the ocean at their backs. What follows is simply plain bizarre.
Tifa is a talented martial artist who can punch robots to loss of life. She can suplex gods. She is difficult as fuck, mainly. But for some purpose, her and Scarlett have a pathetic slap struggle. I’m fairly positive Tifa would straight up slap this Shinra lackey off the cannon with a single backhand, and I hope that’s what occurs in Final Fantasy 7 Remake(s?) 2.
Vincent – simply the entire of Vincent
One of Final Fantasy 7’s non-obligatory celebration members is Vincent, who you discover sleeping in a coffin inside a creepy mansion in Cloud’s hometown. He’s a vampire with a gun, and you need to undergo a complete convoluted collection of duties to even get him to affix you. Despite him being really easy to overlook, he acquired his personal game primarily in Dirge of Cerberus. Did I point out he’s a vampire?
Cait-Sith – simply the entire of Cait-Sith
It’s a robotic cat driving a factor… what even is that factor? A fats moogle teddy? Just have a look at it – it’s so dumb. I hate it with each fibre of my being.
Snowboarding?
There’s a snowboarding minigame. You snowboard. It’s SSX with anime hair and I find it irresistible. Even the music’s excessive. Legendary shit.
Why not learn our spoiler-free Final Fantasy 7 Remake review whilst you’re right here.
