I would take a bullet for this life-sized Slowpoke plush

Nintendo’s roster of Pokémon keeps getting bigger and bigger as each new game introduces additional pocket monsters to capture, but people still have love for the classics. For instance, consider this life-sized Slowpoke plush available for pre-order on the official storefront. It’s cuddly, adorable, and joins a line-up of life sized Pokémon plushes who are all cute as heck. Needless to say, I want one for myself.

Just look at him vibing. He’s 47 inches long and 100% friend. That’s a little fellow you can trust, if you ask me. Would that face lie to you?

The price for this lad is $450, but consider the positives: He’s big enough to cuddle, or even use as a makeshift bed. He won’t go anywhere, because he’s a Slowpoke, and there’s security there. Should you ever need advice, his docile face is enough to inspire reflection and change.

If you don’t have the room for this handsome chap, there’s other Slowpoke merch available, like some snazzy shirts, a smaller plush, and a belt buckle. But if you ask me, if you’re committing to bringing home you’re very own Slowpoke and you have the space and money … this big boy is quite a luxury purchase.