Don’t decide me too harshly. I’m not usually the sort of particular person to stroll into somebody’s home and scoop their recent groceries into my pockets, however I’m making ready for when the world falls aside and we’re compelled to eat our neighbours.
I’m prepping for the top of the world in Animal Crossing, hoarding fruit and turnips. Since actual cash will quickly be nugatory, why not be nearly wealthy, eh? Why not?
So, final week I went to go to one in every of my Nintendo Online pals. When I obtained there, the island was adorned in Bunny Day eggs and furnishings, and there was a canine strumming a guitar subsequent to an indication that learn “happy birthday”.
I didn’t realise earlier than I went, however it was my pal’s birthday they usually had been celebrating it in-game as a result of UK lockdown, having fun with an intimate Okay.Okay. Slider live performance.
If robbing somebody on their birthday makes me an asshole (it undoubtedly does, shut up), I need you to understand I first went to the store of their city, purchased some occasion poppers, and allow them to go into my good friend’s face. “Happy birthday,” I wrote. See, I’m good actually.
Job executed. Now, whereas they had been having fun with the remainder of Slider’s efficiency, I believed I’d simply take a look round. The island was stuffed with fruit timber of each type. Vast orchards so far as the attention might see, which isn’t very far in Animal Crossing as a result of the islands curve over after about three meters.
Either means, that fruit was mine. It’d develop again in a few days and my good friend wasn’t in any rush to reap it. A victimless crime. I crammed my pockets. He didn’t even discover. I used to be dwelling free and richer than earlier than, after promoting all this non-native fruit on my island of orange timber.
At least till this dick-nosed villager grassed me up:
That’s @MckKirk properly and really dobbed in pic.twitter.com/Z65sK9o3IU
— Paul (@bestpaulwatson) April 13, 2020
What a little bit bitch. Can’t imagine he did me like that.
With a reputation like Snooty, I don’t even know why I’m shocked. He’s in all probability the sort of man who would name the cops when he spots somebody shopping for a Double Decker from Aldi. A correct curtain twitcher. This dude would undoubtedly have “grass” spray painted onto their backyard fence round my means.
Consider this a PSA to my fellow fruit thieves: scope out the island first since you by no means know if some snooty asshole goes to dob you in.
If you don’t wish to resort to unwell means, take a look at our Animal Crossing: New Horizons guide.
