Vaults! When the nukes dropped on the Fallout universe, humanity slithered into tons of of those life-sustaining, radiation-proof vaults, unaware that the sinister company charged with constructing the issues had a hidden agenda. Vault-Tec used these underground bunkers to hold out weird sociological experiments on their unwitting residents, taking part in them off towards each other in sick energy video games or pumping their air provide filled with psychoactive compounds.
Fallout 4 has obtained literal oodles of beforehand unknown vaults to find and discover. And would it, I simply occur to have an exhaustive record of the contents of every one. How did I come throughout this unique file? Well, between you and me, let’s simply say I made all of them up in a regrettable afternoon’s work, realising too late that I hadn’t the endurance or capability to get to 111, nor the modicum of disgrace required to think about not posting the factor as it’s.
Right, right here you go. Sorry.
Vault 1: Just spiders, a vault stuffed shin-deep with spiders. Anybody who complains about or mentions that there are spiders in every single place or remarks that it is unattainable to eat cereal with out additionally shovelling spoonfuls of writhing spiders into your mouth is instantly banished from the vault.
Vault 2: Populated solely by refugees from the spider vault. Residents should place their arms on their hips as soon as a day and shout “I’m so glad there are not any spiders right here in Vault 2, the spiderless vault that I really like.”
Vault three: Very, very slowly spinning vault. Nobody actually notices.
Vault four: Upside-down vault.
Vault 5: Inside-out vault. All different vaults are technically contained inside this vault.
Vault 6: Isometric vault. No ceilings. No northwest- or northeast-facing partitions.
Vault 7: Big-head mode vault.
Vault eight: Every vault resident is arbitrarily assigned a quantity upon entry. Five years into the experiment a pre-recorded fart sound will play throughout the vault and a voice will say “ooooh, who did that large fart, I guess it was resident quantity 71, he smells like poo and is an enormous fool”.
Vault 9: Ceilings are a few inches decrease right here.
Vault 10: No forks.
Vault 11: Very few forks.
Vault 12: One large fork everyone has to share.
Vault 13: Spooky vault.
Vault 14: The rooms of this vault are laid out such that when seen from above they spell out the sentence “HOW COME IN THE FILM UNBREAKABLE BRUCE WILLIS ENCOUNTERS HIS ONE WEAKNESS, THAT IS, DROWNING, IN LITERALLY HIS FIRST ATTEMPT TO KNOWINGLY USE HIS POWERS OF INVULNERABILITY FOR GOOD?”
Vault 15: No ladies allowed.
Vault 16: Only ladies allowed.
Vault 17: Only Girls Aloud allowed.
Vault 18: Equivalent B*Witched vault.
Vault 19: Overseer is a cool robotic canine who skateboards across the vault ensuring everyone is having a enjoyable time.
Vault 20: Overseer is an offended robotic canine who rollerblades across the vault belching knockout fuel.
Vault 21: Something actually intelligent thought up by any individual with a correct college diploma in social research or psychology or one thing, during which positions of authority within the vault are arbitrarily assigned after which dysfunction is fomented by means of, I do not know, the unfair distribution of wealth? How about that? That sounds alright. Good vault.
Vault 22: Slippery ice physics vault.
Vault 23: This vault’s PA system is continually taking part in 1981 hit ‘Pull Up To The Bumper’ on an limitless loop, till after a number of years the residents can not discover or recognise that the chart-topping new wave membership anthem is filling the air round them. When lastly launched again into the wastelands nevertheless, the overwhelming lack of Grace Jone’s thinly veiled ode to doing it within the bum drives the vault dwellers into bumper-deprived insanity.
Vault 24: Similar to Vault 23, besides with the ‘Here Come The Girls’ music from the Boots advertisements as an alternative.
Vault 25: Overseer is a pleasant girl named Georgia who’s at all times there to assist.
Vault 26: Contains a bee.
Vault 27: They sellotaped biscuits to the undersides of the entire chairs on this one to see what occurs.
Vault 28: Has a “rumpus room”.
Vault 29: Whatever a breakfast nook is, this vault is only one large breakfast nook.
Vault 30: The particular person with the fullest and juiciest lips is elected as Overseer. Once a month an enormous syringe crammed with lip-fattening saline resolution descends from a ceiling excessive above a wrestling ring subsequent to a ladder.
Vault 31: Features the longest Scalextric monitor of any vault.
Vault 32: A barely greater than common variety of the vault dwellers are named Adam, which unsettles everyone in a method they can’t fairly put their finger on.
Vault 33: Populated solely by individuals who really feel the necessity to point out potassium any time any individual is consuming a banana. Yeah, we get it, that is the one factor everyone is aware of about bananas. Get a grip.
Vault 34: Spiders once more.
Vault 35: Spiders.
Vault 36: Spiders.
Vault 37: Ohhhh, it is spiders.
Vault 38: Everybody on this vault is instructed, day by day, that canine can drive automobiles now. “Dogs can drive automobiles now,” the dwellers will usually be heard saying to at least one one other. “The world has modified and now a canine can drive a automotive,” is one other factor you may overhear. When the day lastly comes to go away the vault, an animatronic canine will drive a automotive previous the vault entrance and not one of the vault dwellers will discover this unusual. “The world is simply as we anticipated,” they may murmur. At this level the Overseer will soar out from behind a rock and say, “you idiots, canine cannot drive automobiles, we made that up”.
Vault 39: Tasked with constructing an animatronic canine that may drive a automotive very briefly for the needs of one other experiment.
Vault 40: Everyone will get smashed with an enormous hammer on the way in which in, as a social experiment to see what occurs when large hammers simply begin smashing folks to bits.
Vault 41: Shaped like a large bowl so that each one the dwellers ultimately tumble into an enormous helpless pile on the backside of the vault.
Vault 42: The solely type of leisure is the ultimate third of 1 episode of the Clangers, the one the place the soup dragon will get nicely broody and the clangers are all like “hey dude, chill the eff out we’re on the moon, what is your actual beef.”
Vault 43: Friday night time is burrito night time in vault 43, in any other case the whole lot is identical.
Vault 44: Residents are solely allowed to talk in Simpsons quotes.
Vault 45: Residents are solely allowed to talk in Moe (from The Simpsons) quotes.
Vault 46: Residents are solely allowed to talk in quotes from season three, episode ten of The Simpsons, ‘Flaming Moe’s’.
Vault 47: Allow me some extra spider vaults.
Vault 48: This is the second final spider vault.
Vault 49: The closing spider vault.
Vault 50: As residents first enter the vault, the Overseer appears to be like at each in flip and says both “yes” or “no”. She by no means explains the factors on which the dwellers are being judged, and no additional distinction is ever made between these residents who had had “yes” stated to them and people who had heard “no”. Some discovered the thriller mildly annoying, however the unusual introduction is shortly forgotten about and life ultimately continues as regular. Two years within the vault fills with spiders.
Vaults 51-111: Spiders.
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