Sometimes the web is actually humorous. Part of my job is to be in contact with what’s necessary to gaming communities, and to report any newsworthy secrets and techniques or scandals unearthed by hundreds of thousands of avid gamers worldwide. I actually like doing this, and it’s solely partially as a result of I take pleasure in searching for information. The remainder of what raises a smile over my morning espresso is memes, shitposting, and digital ‘banter’ in all its kinds.
The Total War subreddit is among the many most persistently humorous (if sometimes salty) of the various such communities I browse daily. And with the announcement of the Curse of the Vampire Coast DLC for Total War: Warhammer II, its denizens have been on positive kind, sending every part up from the inherent absurdity of land-borne pirates to the plain comedy of crabs. I needed to assemble one of the best examples of their wit since I don’t have another technique to rejoice it, and our deputy editor Jules has made the horrible mistake of claiming sure.
We due to this fact current herewith one of the best Vampire Coast shitposts from the Total War subreddit. Here be crabs.
Lords of the ocean (however not)
We’re beginning robust with this absolute gem – a clip from the US fantasy comedy collection Galavant and posted by Fool_of_a_Took_. Seriously, if you happen to dismiss this complete article as a pointless work of idiocy, simply watch this one:
For context, conventional ship-to-ship naval battles usually are not attainable in Total Warhammer, and Creative Assembly confirms this isn’t going to change with the Vampire Coast. Instead, two enemies who encounter one another at sea may have the choice to combat on native islands, which a minimum of provides you an possibility aside from autoresolving each sea battle.
Nonetheless, the Vampire Coast will stay a pirate faction who can solely combat on land…
no ship battles? reeeaaally?
But that’s not to say they will’t combat with ships. Meet the Necrofex Colossus, an undead assemble made from corpses and items of wrecked transport:
Accordingly, as shitposters on YouTube and Albertosaurus on Reddit alike have identified, Creative Assembly is giving us ship battles. Just not on water. Shoutout to theveryrealfitz, who rumbles a fellow commenter with some wordplay: CA “can’t stomach navel battles, that’s for sure.”
CA workers scandalously breaking subreddit guidelines
CA employees breaking this sub’s rules – Moderators doing nothing. from totalwar
Literally unplayable
This most likely isn’t very humorous until you’re a pedant. In which case, as OP Al3xR3ads understands and Idoless4 explains, it’s “technically correct. The best kind of correct.”
Most-upvoted responder SuspenseSmith factors out that the Vampire Coast will launch on the identical date because the US midterm elections – “Kislev tampering with Elector Count results”, in different phrases. And Boris Todbringer’s key pledge within the race towards Karl Franz? “We’re gonna build a wall, and we’re going to make Chaos pay for it”.
Crab within the purple gown
GoddyofAus was the OP who slyly famous the group’s speedy acceptance of the Vampire Coast by repurposing this basic meme. Weaponmaster470 was the most-upvoted responder, noting the lamentable lack of crab in Goddy’s publish. And it was jasonrodriguez_DT who decided: no, this crabsence shall not stand. Even if I have to take a web based course in Photoshop, this sub deserves a crab in a purple gown. And boy, did Jason ship.
There’s one thing nearly majestically low-effort about this one: pasting within the hat is additional work, true, but it surely’s additionally one other alternative to do a crappy job of it. Shame the impact is undermined by the pointless drop shadow on the captions within the unique meme, which Jason has edited.
I’ve spent a little bit too lengthy on this.
the daddiest of shitposts
It’s Creative Assembly’s customized to launch game updates alongside DLC, and DirkDiggy99 has a prediction as as to whether or not the Vampire Coast will even include a patch.
Crab memes usually
“Giant enemy crab! Attack its weak point for massive damage!” is a kind of pointless phrases that we’re all doomed to listen to at any second of passing relevance, together with fixed entreaties to “do a barrel roll” and yelling thrice about snakes.
Perhaps due to this or simply as a result of crabs are humorous, toblys’s portfolio advice is to speculate closely in crab memes and dump your Dogs of War memes as rapidly as attainable.
And, mere hours after we hear that the Vampire Coast may have eight new Regiments of Renown – reskinned, powered-up particular variations of standard models – here’s mojave955 with leaked gameplay footage of an RoR large crab:
And lastly, a hearty thank-you to Mjolnr839 for arising with ‘crabalry‘, which can now be probably the most inherently humorous phrase within the English language. Step apart bobbins, nipple, and cleft – you’ve had your time. That thread additionally gives a throwback to that outdated Total War shitposting stalwart – the notion that the Skaven are made up – and this splendid exchange in regards to the army effectiveness of a unit that may solely transfer sideways (“Help! We are NOT flanked!”)
In conclusion: Crabalry.
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