A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms Finally Solves a Mystery Game of Thrones Never Could

By now, the discourse surrounding the unrefined digestive realities of the Game of Thrones universe has likely reached a saturation point. It is an unexpected trajectory for television criticism, yet after the latest HBO prequel launched with a graphic depiction of pre-tournament jitters, a torrent of interviews, analytical essays, and explainer pieces followed. In the second installment of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, showrunner Ira Parker leans further into this earthy motif with a particularly blunt exchange.

As the Targaryen nobility descends upon the rustic grounds of Ashford Meadow for a tourney, the protagonist, Ser Duncan the Tall (portrayed by Peter Claffey), crosses paths with two elite Kingsguard knights. While Dunk initially views them with reverent silence, these royal sentinels prove surprisingly conversational. After exchanging pleasantries and a lighthearted jab at Dunk’s imposing stature, one knight broaches a surprisingly practical concern.

“Now tell me, Ser Duncan, is there a proper place to shit around here?” the Kingsguard inquires.

“Not really, no,” Dunk admits.

When the first knight departs in visible frustration, his companion lingers to offer a cynical observation regarding his high-born colleague’s delicate sensibilities.

“A man of such birth has never deigned to disturb his asshole with hay,” he quips.

Dunk offers a knowing grin: “He’ll deign before the week is out, I’d wager.”

The subtext is hardly elusive. Accustomed to the refined amenities of the Red Keep or private latrines, the Kingsguard find themselves ill-equipped for the primitive reality of Ashford Meadow, where a secluded thicket and a handful of hay represent the height of luxury. This brings us to a larger world-building question: How do the denizens of Westeros handle their biological needs? While the original series briefly touched upon this in one infamous death scene, George R.R. Martin’s source material is far more explicit, suggesting that in this brutal world, nature calls wherever it finds you.

For those curious about the literary history of such matters in the Seven Kingdoms, here is a retrospective on the franchise’s most notable bowel-related moments. Just consider this your reminder to pack some essential supplies before traveling the Kingsroad.

In the 2011 tome A Dance With Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen suffers a harrowing bout of dysentery after consuming tainted water—though some scholars of the series interpret the visceral description as a potential miscarriage.

“Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up, she was shitting brown water. The more she drank the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew.”

While Daenerys’s experience is one of pure survivalist agony, Martin uses the same bodily function as a tool of psychological warfare in 2000’s A Storm of Swords. During the siege of Meereen, the formidable pit fighter Strong Belwas celebrates a battlefield victory with a gesture of ultimate contempt toward the city’s defenders:

“The defenders on the walls began firing their crossbows at Belwas, but the bolts fell short or skittered harmlessly along the ground. The eunuch turned his back on the steel-tipped rain, lowered his trousers, squatted, and shat in the direction of the city. He wiped himself with Oznak’s striped cloak…”

Of course, no discussion of Westerosi bathroom habits is complete without the ignominious end of Lord Tywin Lannister. Also occurring in A Storm of Swords, Tyrion Lannister finds his father in the most vulnerable of positions: the privy. In a moment of grim irony, Martin chronicles the patriarch’s death through his final biological release.

“The proof was the sudden stench, as his bowels loosened in the moment of death… the stink that filled the privy gave ample evidence that the oft-repeated jape about his father was just another lie. Lord Tywin Lannister did not, in the end, shit gold.”

Martin has always employed a visceral, unflinching prose style to demystify his high-fantasy world. In Westeros, even the most private acts are often entangled with violence or humiliation. While the books frequently showcase these moments during times of crisis, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms finally sheds light on the mundane, daily struggle of the common folk—providing answers to a question many fans hadn’t even thought to ask.

Source: Polygon