A panda received the Tekken World Tour grand finals this weekend, rampaging via its opponents with all of the anti-human rage you would possibly count on of an endangered species. I say “panda”, I imply skilled fighterman Hyeon-ho Jeong of South Korea, aka ‘Rangchu’, who mauled his manner via the highest 20 Tekken 7 gamers on the planet utilizing the black-eyed animal as a fighty pal. Eventually, ‘Rangchu’ confronted off towards Byung-moon Son, higher often known as ‘Qudans’, final yr’s champion and fierce Devil Jin puppeteer. For the Tekken illiterate on the market, Panda is usually seen as one of many weakest characters, since she is large and ponderous sufficient to get hit in situations the place normal-sized characters received’t. Whereas Devil Jin is seen as a prime tier fighter worthy of many chef kisses. Tekken veteran ‘Qudans’ was additionally third in the standings going into the competition, whereas ‘Rangchu’ was 13th, making him and his animal buddy the particular underdogs.
So, think about a complete corridor crammed with skeptical faces taking a look at this animal. But the panda was not fazed. She was right here to chew bamboo and show the doubters fallacious. And by the point she landed the killer blow, she was all out of bamboo.
The grand finals befell in Amsterdam, the final cease of the nine-month lengthy Tekken World Tour. Saturday was a massacre: a 320-person last chance qualifier to fill the ultimate area among the many biffing champs that will struggle the next day. Basically, it was a day by which the world’s greatest Tekkenistas uppercut and drop-kicked each other in an effort to slide via that closing door and into the highest 20. Out of this 10-hour chaos, Joshua ‘Ghirlanda’ Bianchi emerged, an Italian bruiser who grew to become solely the fourth European participant to make the grand finals.
But when Sunday arrived, he might need been exhausted from the day before today’s bedlam, as he grew to become one in all twelve brawlers knocked out throughout the group levels. Sunday was a spherical robin, each knuckle sandwicher going through off towards each different knuckle sandwicher in their very own group. Many fell. Fergus McGee, the Irish champion and famous Ricky Martin superfan, was sorely decked. The French grasp, Vincent ‘SuperAkouma’ Homan was likewise dismissed with many kicks.
At one level, Korean celebrity Hyunjin ‘JDCR’ Kim confronted US punchpro Joey ‘Fury’ Bennett in a tense tiebreaker, just for the web to shout in unison that the organisers had made a mistake: Joey Fury already had the factors essential to cross via to the highest 8. His best-of-one brawl with probably the most feared gamers had been scary, excessive stakes, and completely pointless. But think about how ‘JDCR’ should have felt, to be instructed: “Remember how you fought your way through to get here? Naw, turns out you’re out.”
With all of the Europeans mendacity in a bloody pulp, two US gamers and a single Japanese scrapper waded in to to crack some ribs with 5 Korean sluggers. At this level ‘Rangchu’ the panda participant began to show heads. A panda within the prime 8? That can be uncommon.
And maybe the zoo keeper thought so too, as a result of he swapped from the panda to different characters to struggle Jae Min Bae, aka ‘Knee’, the top-ranked participant within the standings. The panda was sleeping via this one, and out got here upsetting crime kingpin Geese Howard, and famous eyebrow mannequin Feng Wei, each making an attempt to defeat Knee’s feathery Devil Jin. It didn’t go well for the zoo keeper. He misplaced these fights and was despatched to the loser’s brackets. But you understand how pandas are. They are always on the verge of non-existence, and but they refuse to die.
‘Rangchu’ from this level switched characters again to the beast he knew. So started the bear’s ascent again up the loser’s ladder. Sang-hyun Jeon, aka ‘Jeondding’, put up a dancelike fight towards the panda along with his long-legged Eddy Gordo but it surely was not sufficient to cope with the ursine can can. Seong-ho Kang (alias ‘Chanel’) was similarly devoured. One of Panda’s strikes entails thrusting her bearish behind at her foe and crushing them with the sheer energy of that muscular backside, and ‘Rangchu’ employed this technique of dispatch continuously throughout his brawls. ‘Chanel’ wouldn’t be the final to fall to the animal’s antagonising twerk.
By now ‘Ranchu’ and his Panda have been rallying the group’s assist. They had develop into the Tekkenised embodiment of these outdated cheese ads, that disgruntled Panda who destroys offices and upends shopping trolleys. This was the way it felt. A peaceable animal comically rampaging via combating game champions like they have been nothing however puny mortals.
In the loser’s finals, ‘Knee’ got here head to head as soon as once more with the opponent he had already vanquished. But this time, the bear wouldn’t sleep via the struggle. The vicious beast bought off to a lumbering begin however quickly chowed down on Devil Jin the demon lad, subjecting him to that panda posterior. Commentator Mark Julio started to see issues bear.
“What if a bear,” he requested, “becomes our global champion?”
In the top, the panda prevailed. A fumble from ‘Knee’ meant that even the bear’s stubby legs may ship a fast killing kick. The panda was via to the final facedown of the tour.
This final ruckus would pit the monochrome monster of ‘Rangchu’ towards yet one more Devil Jin, this time managed by final yr’s world champion, ‘Qudans’. But the panda man must win twice: as soon as to reset the bracket, and once more to take the trophy.
Panda got here storming out of her pen, and though the fights have been typically shut, the savagery of the bear was working. She’d go into her low searching stance and simply claw at DJ’s ankles many times, bloodying ‘Qudans’s demon son and taking chunk after chunk of flesh from his life bar. Were ‘Rangchu’ not already aligned with the panda, he can be a jackal.
But the fights remained shut. One of the rounds even led to becoming anime ridiculousness, because the demon boy and panda lady delivered simultaneous knockout blows.
Eventually, ‘Qudans’ succumbed to the animal’s wildness. The brackets have been reset, and victory was inside a claw’s attain for Panda, for Ranchu, for Pandchu, for they’re one and the identical now, a unified beast of ursine energy. ‘Qudans’ and his tribally tattooed toughnut began to adapt to the savagery, making a detailed struggle even nearer. Until the panda gripped the noughties edgelord in a loss of life maintain and rolled him round on her heels like he was nothing however a ball on the circus. She clawed at his shins, she swiped at his jaw, she crushed him to unconsciousness with that iron rump.
With DJ right down to his final sliver of well being, and ‘Qudans’ ordinary composure lengthy since rattled, he pressed the dreaded buttons on his joystick, desirous of a life-saving nuke: the blue-coloured rage drive that each character has bottled up inside them. It struck the panda. But a close-by wall made the bear bounce awkwardly to 1 facet, and the ultimate strike of the demon boy’s combo missed its goal. The bear awoke, and began swinging till she landed the knockout blow: a easy, closing slap to the face.
“Panda,” stated Tekken director Katsuhiro Harada when he awarded Pandchu the trophy. “REALLY!?”
So there it’s. As exceptional as it’s amongst Tekken 7 gamers for a bear to develop into the King of the Iron Fist Tournament, it’s a reminder of why the punch ‘em up is so much fun. It’s a foolish place, the place almost extinct animals can face an incarnation of otherworldly evil, and are available out on prime. Well executed to all gamers concerned. And properly executed, Pandchu.
