Ranked: The 5 Weirdest Little Guys in Fire Emblem: Fortune’s Weave

While the playable cast in Fire Emblem Fortune’s Weave tends to be considerably more grounded than those found in recent franchise entries, the roster still features its fair share of eccentric personalities. Granted, their bizarre behavior is usually rooted in genuinely tragic backstories. Yet, until you uncover those dark pasts—and sometimes even long after—they come across as wonderfully peculiar. So much so, in fact, that we’ve ranked the top five weird little guys across all of Fortune’s Weave.

5

Jester

Image: Intelligent Systems/Nintendo via Polygon

Beneath Jester’s bloodthirsty veneer lies a profound, hidden sorrow. During combat, his battle quotes reveal genuine remorse for inflicting harm, accompanied by nervous laughter as he admits his actions make his skin crawl. Furthermore, anyone who boasts this aggressively about reveling in universal disapproval is transparently masking the truth. Until his bleak history comes to light, he firmly secures a spot among the cast’s premier oddballs. He channels the cruel, mildly unhinged energy you’d expect from Dietrich, yet layers it with a heavy dose of vanity that transforms him from a simple clown into a flamboyant fop.

4

Ninae

Image: Intelligent Systems/Nintendo via Polygon

Ninae gravitates toward melancholy souls and holds conversations with spirits only she can perceive—assuming they are actually present, of course, rather than mere manifestations of talking to herself. Perpetually drowsy, she drifts through the night dressed impeccably in gothic attire. True to the aesthetic, she harbors a quiet fixation on the goddess of death, nearly driving her to strike down Simon during a C-rank support conversation over a perceived slight against Yu Phas. Granted, an undeniably moving explanation exists for both her wardrobe and her mortality obsession. Even so, Ninae remains wonderfully eccentric.

3

Halvin

Image: Intelligent Systems/Nintendo via Polygon

Initially bearing a striking resemblance to Bernadetta, Halvin is a bow-wielding archer whose past traumas make even her own shadow terrifying, prompting no shortage of shrill shrieks. She is a fantastic character overall, and her support conversations heavily hint at deep-seated psychological scars, tilting her profile toward tragedy rather than mere weirdness.

However, her battle dialogue is precisely what propels her past the competition. Halvin shrieks in sheer panic when receiving healing magic, desperately begging for rescue. Yes, Halvin—that is quite literally the objective here! Furthermore, upon executing a tactical maneuver or vanquishing an opponent, she occasionally laments, “I had no choice.” My dear, you literally just propelled an arrow clean through someone’s skull from across the map; nobody forced you to take things quite that far.

2

Fabio

Image: Intelligent Systems/Nintendo via Polygon

I oscillated for a while between classifying Fabio as genuinely bizarre or simply loathsome (equating those who differ from you to fauna is hardly polite). Ultimately, a re-examination of his character profile cemented him firmly in the weird category. His listed hobbies include “suffering” and “half-forgotten feelings,” reading remarkably like a brooding noughties emo kid alongside a penchant for “dissecting beautiful things.” Admittedly, that final interest leans closer to the deeply unsettling schoolmate destined for a watchlist. On the other hand, what is Fabio’s narrative arc if not a metaphorical dissection of Dietrich—a beautiful specimen in his own right? He stands alone as the sole character who truly perceives and comprehends the hidden truths behind Dietrich’s facade.

On a lighter note regarding Fabio’s journey: why lament the harsh sunlight while continuously dressing head-to-toe in pitch black? One can only assume the residents of Dagda possess such scant knowledge of the Church of Seiros that they genuinely believe all Fodlan clergy sport identical garments, allowing him to slip past scrutiny. Even so, for an individual boasting such a rigorous scientific background, it represents a glaring oversight.

1

Majide

Image: Intelligent Systems/Nintendo via Polygon

Majide claims the crown for the ultimate weird little guy by a margin as vast as the gulf separating his self-perception from his actual competence. Intelligent Systems wove his absolute ineptitude into every facet of his design, a dedication to character craft that commands immense respect. The Fire Emblem series frequently features a boastful bandit cast primarily in villainous roles, yet Majide surpasses them all through sheer, unadulterated delusions of grandeur. In his mind, global governance would vastly improve under his sole leadership, he rightfully deserves victory in the Heroic Games, and ascension to godhood is practically overdue. Naturally, any setbacks involving formidable women handing him humiliating defeats are entirely everyone else’s fault.

Except, of course, the reality is entirely the opposite. Majide’s base statistics and growth rates are aggressively abysmal. His personal skill sacrifices dodge capability to amplify attack power—a phenomenal trade-off for virtually anyone except Majide. The philosophy of striking hard enough to render evasion unnecessary falls flat when your target remains entirely unpunished because you never actually connect with a blow. Across multiple playthroughs involving different iterations of him, his dexterity and hit rates consistently plumb new depths, while his sluggish speed renders him virtually stationary. What the Order of Mithras possibly saw in him to justify bestowing one of Drake’s Treasures remains an absolute mystery.