QualityLand by Marc-Uwe Kling review – a hit-and-miss riff on capitalist ills

A bestseller in Germany, this knockabout dystopia unfolds in the rampantly consumerist state of QualityLand, where mending is outlawed (“To make the markets fly, we just have to buy!”) and citizens are ranked by algorithm, dictating “the intensity with which the police will investigate if one is unlucky enough to be murdered”.

Set against the backdrop of an election run-off between a far-right demagogue and a low-polling android advocating universal basic income, the plot turns on the Kafkaesque travails of a scrap-metal merchant, Peter Jobless, who struggles to persuade TheShop, “the world’s most popular online retailer”, to take back a pink dolphin-shaped vibrator delivered in error.

While TheShop is ready to sue over the implication that its analytics aren’t accurate, the story is only a prop for Kling’s satirical world-building. From driverless cars that avoid rundown neighbourhoods to match-making apps that tell users to dump their partners, the novel’s profuse invention suggests the dark clouds behind big tech’s blue-sky thinking. When Peter and his girlfriend, Sandra Admin, discuss having a child, a message from QualityPartner PartnerCare pings up on her glasses: “A new, better partner at a higher level is now available for you. If you would like to connect with him, choose OK now.” Peter’s QualityPad beeps to say his relationship is “unexpectedly terminated. We apologise for any inconvenience and hope to be able to greet you again soon as a QualityPartner customer.”

While Kling seeks to warn us how dehumanising digital innovation can be, he doesn’t make us care about what QualityLand’s citizens have lost. Scenes are built around gags, not characters. When Peter’s app hooks him up with another lover, Melissa, who writes racist comments under news articles, she gives him a hundred-page “pre-sex” agreement. “Are you really planning to read the entire contract?” she asks. “If you are then I might knock out a few hate posts about Gypsies while I’m waiting. Election period is a busy time for me.”

Less a novel than a hit-and-miss riff on capitalist ills, QualityLand’s style and structure make more sense when you learn that Marc-Uwe Kling is also a standup. We’ll be hearing more about it, for sure – the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head is adapting the book for HBO – but I suspect the question of whether it flies as drama may end up being more about the casting than the source material.